This is how I see me in my dreams

This is how I see me in my dreams

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Pollyanna has left the building

I'm much cuter than my stats would have you believe.

Height - 5'2"
Weight - 211

Bust - 44"
Waist - 40"
Hips - 42"

STOP THAT! I can HEAR you laughing!!!!


I'll be 60 in July.

Two years ago (180 lbs) I tried a Yoga class. I explained to the instructor that I was a beginner and might not be able to keep up but he was kind and encouraging. After the initial warm-up, (Sun-salutation; Bidalasana) it continued to heat up in the room (Crescent Moon) and within minutes I was sweating and flushed (Warrior I & II). His encouragement became irritating demands of me (Full Boat - c'mon now). His kindness was coming off as condescending (CHILD'S POSE - REALLY???) . I simply couldn't do any more. I gathered my mat and Yogaman came leaping across the room in my direction. We both hit the door at the same time.
"Oh, don't give up! It gets easier!"
"I really shouldn't push myself and this is well beyond my ability."
"You can do it! Just stick with it!"
"I need to sit down in a cooler location. I need some water. I'll try it again sometime."
"Just sit in the back and do what you can! I'll help you attain the positions!"
"I'm pregnant."

Poor guy. He stammered and blubbered but never found words to recover from his dumbfounded expression. He wished me well and closed the door behind me. I guess I can't go back there now.

By the inch, it's a cinch...
By the yard, it's hard...

I decided to forgo my usual Triple Vente Peppermint Mocha this morning and opt for Fresh Brewed with Soy Milk. Yea for me. So why did it take me most of the morning to even taste it? Because, eeewwwww, it's SOY milk. My intention is not quite in sync with my reality yet.


Finally, the wheatgrass/vegetable juicer arrived around 3:30 this afternoon. I was juicing by 3:45. Maybe I should have glanced at the instruction sheet for a moment or two. Mom, not a fan already, found me mid-concoction and actually didn't voice her distain. That's worse than any alternative might have been. By 5:00 she only wanted to know if I'd gotten the green stains off of the cupboards.

Dad was more appreciative. He liked the kale, broccoli, ginger, tomato, lemon mix. He liked the wheatgrass, lemon, ginger even better. I'm still belching.


No Zumba today, only taxes. Sheesh.

1 comment:

  1. Ohmigosh, this is too funny! Have you ever heard of the "Slight Edge"? Did I just tell you about it the other day? I can't remember hahah, well're doin it lady! Keep it up!
    And post some pictures!! Your viewers are going to want to SEE your transformation! EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!!